After my friend Yvonne died, her husband, Johnny let me know that he had something special
that he wanted me to do at her celebration of life, but he didn’t tell me what it was.
On Monday, December 16 I received the following email from Johnny:
Dear Friends,
As most of you already know, my beloved wife and companion of 59 years, Yvonne, passed away
on Saturday, November 30, 2019. Her life was long, rich, variegated, and full of creativity and
joy. She touched many, many people along the way.
It is time to celebrate Yvonne. You are invited!
Date: Saturday, December 28, 2019
Time: 10:30 am. A lunch will follow.
Place: Maple Grove Lutheran Church. 9251 Elm Creek Blvd. N, Maple Grove, MN
55369; 763-420-7930.
Our Celebration will include songs that were important to Yvonne and to our family starting
with “Morning Has Broken” and closing with “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot”; shares from family
members; and practices that were important to Yvonne in her spiritual journey.
What this email does not expand upon was the many layers of Yvonne’s spiritual seeking. Her
parents were non-religious, but Yvonne joined a church youth group at a local church and was
baptized. In high school she discovered Quakerism and spent about 20 years within that
tradition. For the last forty years of her life, she followed the path of Siddha Yoga. Since moving
to Maple Grove, she and Johnny would sometimes join Tanya and Chad for activities at their
Lutheran church where the Celebration of Life service would be held.
The email from Johnny continued.
My original thought was that I would introduce chanting and meditation, we would chant Om
Namah Shivaya for 10 minutes, and then we would meditate quietly for 5 minutes.
However, when we talked with Pastor Chris it turned out that she had some concerns about this
arrangement. She thought that chanting for 10 minutes would feel too strange to most of the
participants, and that a simple meditation would be too hard. The solution we came up with is
that we will use the introduction as is, but we will chant for only 3, max 4 minutes and we will
have a guided meditation. You will be the guide, and we will do our best to replicate the first Qi
Gung meditation we did together. I HOPE THIS IS OK WITH YOU!!!!! If I have been neglectful
and this is the first you are hearing of this plan, by deepest apologies!
What do you think? It feels good to me, but as the leader of the guided meditation it needs to feel
OK to you as well. And by the way, if you also want to share about Yvonne, you are more than
welcome to do that during the lunch when there will be an open mike for sharing.
The problem for me was that I had not been in the ICU room in Minneapolis when the Qi Gong
master lead them through the meditation. One afternoon, I had led the family in meditation by
Yvonne’s bedside, but it was not a Qi Gong based meditation, at least not as I had learned Qi
Gong meditation. We simply gathered around Yvonne’s bed and put our hands on her while
breathing together, calming and strengthening ourselves with our steady, even breaths, holding
Yvonne in our circle of love and healing.
I did know the form of meditation that Yvonne and I had shared, Realization Process. In fact, I
was a fully certified teacher of this work. Yvonne particularly liked the Core Breath exercise. I
worked to adapt the meditation we had done together from its original 20-minute length to the 5-
minute length that Johnny needed. It took me three tries. I sent the meditation along with a note.
Dec 18, 2019
3:21 PM
Johnny, is this the sort of thing you are looking for? This core meditation was Yvonne’s favorite
among the Realization Process ones we did with Judith Blackstone. Since it is activating the
central channel it is congruent with some Taoist meditations. Since I have not done Spring
Forest Qigong I don’t have a meditation from that lineage. I hope this works. If not let me
know. (I have not included the attachment with this version since we did not use it.)
Johnny’s response.
Dec 18, 2019
5:51 PM
I read through your meditation instructions, and I can really see why this process would have
been powerful for you and Yvonne. However, I suspect that the instructions would seem very
esoteric to people who have not experienced any sort of meditation before and who have had no
real exposure to anything mystical. So here’s what makes more sense to me.
The visualization that Master Jaci led us into, especially on the first day, was very simple, and
every component of it was one that everyone would have experienced: a group of people, warm
sun, and smiles. Nothing is dependent on previous exposure to Qi Gung, Green Forest or any
other school. We simply create an inner vision according to the instructions and focus on
holding it as vividly as possible. I think this is a task that is very approachable, non-esoteric, and
at this level not dependent on any interpretation of what it is actually doing within us. In my
experience, it is simply bringing in lightness and a smile!
I have been imagining slightly modifying my introduction so that it will set the stage for this
visualization a bit more explicitly than it does at present. I will still talk about Om Namah
Shivaya because we will be chanting it, and we are planning to have it play very softly in the background. But the meaning of this mantra is that I honor the Universal Divine. I can say
something like the Divine is associated with love and joy, and the guided meditation will lead us
in this direction.
So, would you be up for leading such a visualization? I have been hoping that you would,
because you were part of the guided meditation with Yvonne. If it doesn't feel right to you, then
let’s look for another way that would be equally approachable to the uninitiated!
Later after much thought, I sent my return email.
Dec 18,2019
8:38 PM
Johnny,
I was not there either of the times that Master Jaci did a meditation/visualization session for
Yvonne. They happened before I came. I did do a short RP attunement with some of you early in
my visit while we were gathered around Yvonne and then we all sent healing energy in our own
way. I know that Master Jaci's first session was powerful for you. You mentioned it several times
while I was with you, particularly. the aspects of warm sun and smiles. Thus I included the
aspects of warm light and inner smiles (which are part of some Taoist meditations but totally
foreign to the meditations that Dr Sun has taught through YiRen Qigong.) I think you have a
very strong memory of the session with Master Jaci and that if you want that gestalt to be part of
Yvonne's celebration, you should ask Master Jaci to do the meditation. It would not hurt my
feelings at all. I want the service to be just as you envision. If I am to do this I have to
understand what your vision for it is.
But aha! I have just had one idea that would work for me if it works for you.. I would make
Yvonne's Autumn Joy the entryway into the meditation. First I would ask everyone to close their
eyes and focus on their breathing. Then I would ask them to open their eyes and put their
attention on Autumn Joy. They would then visualize (eyes open or closed) walking into the forest
of golden trees where they can shuffle the dry leaves, smell the sweet smell of the soil, feel the
rough bark of the trees, look at the sunshine through the golden leaves above, etc. Although they
walk alone, they soon find others who have been drawn to the autumn woods on this sunny day.
They find a circle of old logs to sit on. They share stories of autumns past and friends past and
make new friends as they do so. They discover that all of them had been friends with Yvonne and
had come here to remember her., her creativity, her brilliance, her curiosity, her spiritual
seeking, her playfulness, her joy, her love. Someone bursts into song and all join in. There are
tears and smiles, communion with each other and with nature. Eventually it is time to go, but
now they leave arm in arm, with friends old and new, carrying Yvonne's spirit renewed in their
hearts.
Hope this resonates with you,
Johnny responded.
Dec 18, 2019
9:03 PM
Oh Jan, how could I have misremembered the guided meditation so completely: How many
shades of red could my ears possibly turn?
But now back to today’s reality. I don't think it would be realistic, or appropriate, to call in
Master Jaci. However, I like the basics of your idea, working with Autumn Joy. Let me try a
variation on what you wrote down.
Focusing on breathing will be unfamiliar to most of the group, so I would not start there. Rather,
I would start by asking people to look at the painting and then close their eyes and call it up in
their imagination. From there I would use your existing instructions but simplify them: They
would visualize walking into the forest of golden trees where they can shuffle the dry leaves,
smell the sweet smell of the soil, feel the rough bark of the alone, they soon find others who have
been drawn to the autumn woods because of Yvonne. They find a circle of old logs to sit on.
There are smiles (I would skip mentioning tears), communion with each other and with nature.
Eventually it is time to go, but now they leave arm in arm, reveling in the glories of nature and in
their loving memories of Yvonne.
This could be paced so that it takes not more than 5 minutes, perhaps only 4. It would be very,
very close to what Master Jaci had us visualize and would probably have the same uplifting
effect. And, Autumn Joy is fast becoming the icon for the whole event. It is the cover of the
program booklet. It’s the front of a card that we will give everybody, in as many copies as they
want. We’ll have it on the table at the front. So, working with it in this way would be, as they say
nowadays, perfect!
My Response.
Dec 18, 2019
10:10 PM
YES! We can make this work. So glad. Now to bed.
Heather, who had been on the whole thread chimed in at this point,
Dec 18, 2019
10:43 PM
I've caught up on this great collaboration and I think the end plan sounds really lovely and
accessible to all. So looking forward to being together to share our love of Yvonne.
With this go ahead I immersed myself in what it would be like to walk in the Minnesota woods
in the fall because those were the woods that the congregation would know and that Yvonne was
painting in Autumn Joy. I asked Chad to share what he knew since he was a hunter and
outdoorsman. Johnny sent me photographs that he had taken. I looked at the scan that Johnny
had sent me of the picture. I entered those glowing woods and finally I wrote and revised the
meditation.
Fri, Dec 27
9:34 PM
Here’s the latest version. I ran it by Heather and Tanya. They loved it.
Put your feet flat on the floor. Take a few full breaths. With each exhalation let go, relax. Let
the pews support your body.
Look at Autumn Joy.
Just be with the painting, the glorious golds and yellows, the muted greens, the sharp dark
green of the evergreen.
Now close your eyes and continue to see Autumn Joy in your mind's eye as we take a walk into
those golden woods.
It is a beautiful sunny fall day, the air is crisp with a touch of warmth whenever the sun hits you.
Beside the big evergreen there is a path leading into the golden woods.
You follow the path. It is wide and leads ever so gently up the hill. It is covered with leaves,
some brown, some still gold.
As you look around you notice how the trunks of the trees form dark vertical silhouettes leading
your eyes from the glowing golds and yellows surrounding you to the forest floor beneath your
feet.
You bend over and pick up a golden maple leaf. You twirl its stem between your fingers as you
look at both sides of it. You are struck by its beauty.
You walk on shuffling your feet through the leaves, breathing in the sweetness of forest soil
with each breath.
You hear the honking of a flock of geese overhead. You stop, looking up toward the sound but
only see the sun shining through the golden leaves above.
A gentle breeze causes the leaves to flutter. Some break loose and come spiralling down
around you.
You meet others who have been drawn to these autumn woods.
There are smiles, communion with one another and with nature. Together you walk in silence,
listening to the woods, feeling their living presence around you. You are at peace, filled with joy.
Eventually it is time to go. You share some warm hugs. Then you go your own ways, reveling in
the glory of nature.
Slowly open your eyes. Look around the room. Focus on “Autumn Joy” Remember our walk in
the woods.
Turn and share a smile with your neighbor. Feel the divine spirit that fills this room and all of us.
John M Palka Fri, Dec 27, 2019
To: Jan Westwater
I love it!
Just two points:
-There are no pews, only chairs.
-Autumn Joy will be projected on the screen during the meditation, as well as being
printed on the program. Maybe you might say “look up at Autumn Joy.”
As I read the meditation from the lectern at the front of the church, Autumn Joy was projected
on a big screen behind me to my left. In front of me on the left were the family and the group
of Siddha Yoga friends, seated toward the front near the family so that everyone who knew the
chant would be together and help fill the large room with sound.
As I look out to my right, I saw fewer faces that I knew, but there were some that I had come to
know as I sat vigil at the hospital. Straight ahead of me at the back of the sanctuary was beauty.
Picture boards of Yvonne and Johnny, saris that Yvonne had brought back from India, beautiful
flower arrangements, some in traditional white, but more in vibrant colors. This was a true
celebration of a beautiful life.
Afterwards as we ate lunch in the Fellowship Hall, I had many people come up to me and say
thank you for the meditation and that they had never experienced what it was like to meditate.
I felt gratitude to Johnny and to Pastor Chris for guiding me in the right direction.
I realized that much of what I had done over the last six weeks was what an end-of-life doula
would do. It had been two years since my husband died and during that time, I had given myself
permission not to know what I was going to do with the rest of my life. In preparing the
meditation, Yvonne had beckoned me into the golden woods. Now it felt that she was leading
me out of the woods, guiding me in the direction I was to go. My calling was to work with the
dying and their grieving families. Thanks, my friend for pointing the way.
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